A light unto my feet and Daily Bread

I usually do not really consider what I'm asking for. I've been sober now for some time. I remember in my early sobriety spending a lot of time in a fellowship. I remember coveting the other side of the fence. I was twenty five with a spirit that was no where close to my years. I remember thinking like a young child wondering when I would get "mine". When would I find a woman to marry? When would I have a house? Children? When would I have a career? I would grow restless thinking that my life somehow did not measure up. I would complain that my life revolved around meetings and solitude.

What makes this comical is that I now have all those things. I have a beautiful wife, three children, a career and I can find myself at times saying, "It was not that bad when I was simply going to meetings and alone." Not that I would ever give up the gifts that I have been given but there are moments. Moments when the rush of life seems to much and I start to complain or wish for something different. I've grown up a little but I can quickly retreat!

What struck me today was that asking for daily bread is greater than the food we need to survive. It's greater than the monies that bring us through day to day. Daily bread is the sustenance for living. It is the make up of our lives and the company that we keep. Asking for daily bread is not demanding God grant us some mystical transformation but that we may be transformed to see His hand in the things that we have. It's not about five days down the line but what we receive today, right now. And in that I can begin to understand God being a lamp unto me feet. I'm not to know the hour or the day of His coming? I'm not know the twists and turns. I'm to follow that which I can see right before me. And if I follow I may be like Daniel making his way through lions.

For if I knew how my life would unfold in these last nine years I would have headed for the hills. My God has more trust in me than I do. For that I'm grateful.