Out of the house of bondage

To make peace in this world I create patterns for myself that make life bearable,like that all important shower in the morning. Just knowing that shower will be a part of waking up is extremely important to me, to the point where I seldom will be willing to leave the house before I get that shower. I look forward to it, even now as I write this, Tomorrow morning the alarm radio will sound, I will struggle to my feet, and the bliss of hot water will cascade down. And if I get up late, I will not skip that shower just to make up time.
I know this sounds rather mundane, but I am like this in other aspects of my life. It's my way of controlling the chaos around me. The problem is that in trying to control the world the very patterns become a prison. A prison of the soul trying to defend itself against ll the chaos of existence. I sacrifice spiritual freedom in exchange for the comfort of the bars that hold me in. Some of the patterns may be good ones, some may not be, and some definitely are not, but yet I build them. The riddle of whether I am held in or the world is held out plays in my head all the time.
I look to an end of times where these bonds are broken. Where the perfect freedom chosen is the one that leads to perfect peace. Total subjection to the chaos of the present is futile. But in that blessed day it will be total subjection to the shining love of God. God brought Israel out of bondage and I know the story goes on in a different direction, but this phrase speaks to me this way tonight. The miracle may be that God will do again what he did then, and in a more miraculous way. I pray for the eventual freedom of us all.