the dash in between

I think there is a song by Garth Brooks or some such "musician" which reminds us of the importance of the dash in between. That dash which appears on our headstone between on DOB and DOD says so much and yet it is merely a dash. In our Creed, our forebearers have done a similar thing to the life and works of Jesus Christ.

I believe in Jesus Christ, God's only Son, our Lord, who was conceived by the Holy Spirit, born of the Virgin Mary, suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died, and was buried;

There is so much included in that comma between his being born of the Virgin Mary and suffering under Pontius Pilate. Fortunately someone had the foresight to write it down so that we might know of the miracles, teachings, dealings, and pleadings of Jesus during his 33 years on Earth. Thanks to the evangelists of old we are able to know (whether we believe it all or not) God's salvific (btw is this even a word? I keep using it and spell check keeps saying I'm a moron)action through Christ, and not only that but God's reordering of history through the words and actions of Jesus. So as I read the Creed in chapel I often have to remind myself of all that went on in that comma and give thanks for it.

You shall have no other Gods before me

Worry, financial insecurity, past difficulties, image, national pride, money, career, investment account, reputation, power, future career, family, emotion, personal pride, other peoples opinions, sex, comfort, relationships, "fixing" others, health, prayer, holy life, practice, internal image of God, piety, etc, etc

I can build a golden calf in a heartbeat...

All of the above can take the front seat so easily. They are not bad in themselves. They must however be kept in right relationship. May the gifts be never sought before the giver.

To Judge the Living and the Dead

I wish this line weren't true; judgment makes me nervous, and I wish it was all just about unconditional love and forgiveness. And I do believe God and Jesus are all about unconditional love, but the more I study both Testaments, the more I realize that I can't gloss over the coming judgment. Yikes!

Daily Bread

I do not have any strong inclinations today. I'm worn out. It is almost the end of February. It is a gray day. There is nothing particularly bad about today. I simply do not feel like reflecting. But I do so because this is a practice.

There is no particular need to be wise or witty. One does not practice for others. I do the practice because I felt called to it and became convinced to set up this thing simply to be made accountable to it. There even was an email in my inbox from a good friend calling me a slacker for not reflecting. "It's not Sunday" she accosted me. It is not Sunday so I write to be accountable.

Trudge is such an appropriate word. To slog is another one. Trudging is the picking up of feet, one in front of the other, in order to move for moving sake. It can truly be the only way of getting from one place to another. As I sit here trudging I am reminded to be grateful. I woke up next to my wife of seven years. My children all woke up and I received several hugs from my daughter. My littlest showed me his cars and my eldest did tell me of the book he's reading (a miracle unto itself). I went to a meeting and was reminded of my essential powerlessness and the need to allow God be God. I returned and had food in the refrigerator. I was able to cook bacon and eggs for my family and my wife allowed me to take a nap. Before nodding off I was able to read a chapter of Mere Christianity by CS Lewis. I had power for lights and the bed was warm and dry.

And as I have just trudged through the truly amazing things in my life I find that that I have entered a different place. Nothing dramatic mind you. Simply a subtle shift.

There is purpose in our trudging. Our God is found in the feet.

that your days may be long in the land the Lord gives you

A week from today, I'll return to Olympia, the place of my birth, for the first time since June. Naturally, thoughts arise of home, and what exactly is meant by the "land the Lord gives you."
I was back in the Pacific Northwest for a little while in September, though I wasn't able to make it home, and everything felt foreign. I was no longer accustomed to the constant chill, the mud puddles, and the smell of hippies. I was rather surprised by the fact that it's perfectly acceptable to display Buddhist and Taoist imagery, but Christian icons get you dismissed as "the establishment." While I had grown up there, I no longer felt native.
I know that this is to be expected when you transplant yourself in a different part of the country. I have become partially integrated into the MidWest. I'll admit it, I like White Castle. I can name and identify all those states in the middle, and debate the differences between Cincinnati, Columbus, Indianapolis, St. Louis, Louisville, and all those other cities that seem derivative when you're on the Coasts.
Because all these things, I don't feel that any one place is truly mine. I wonder about the days being long in the land the Lord has given me, and I really don't know where that is. It makes sense; it's hard to feel rooted when you're no longer living in the culture you grew up in, but you're still a foreigner in your land of residence. I guess that's part of honoring your mother and father - acknowledging the affect family and upbringing in your sense of home.

Suffered Under Pontius Pilate

Thursday I attended a program at the Cathedral College with Amy-Jill Levine, a Jewish New Testament scholar at Vanderbilt Divinity School. She discussed ways that we could preach the Christian gospel without condemning Judaism. It was very eye-opening; she did not, for example, object to the term "Old Testament" or ask us not to evangelize; in fact, she said that evangelism is an important part of our tradition and she thought we should do it.

So instead of speaking about things I had expected, she pointed out things such as this: when some of us (I know I have been guilty of this!) want to portray Jesus as a feminist, we can't very well invent new feminist Biblical stories, so we say that he was a feminist in comparison, i.e. we drop the bar for Judaism...we might say of course he was a feminist, because Judaism was such a sexist religion. Or, we talk about Jesus ministering to the marginalized, including women, and she pointed out many parts of the Bible that show that "marginalized" is not the right way to describe Jewish women at that time. For example, Mary was able to travel to see her cousin Elizabeth...how can a marginalized person travel freely?

And of course, some Christians still talk about "the Jews killing Jesus." Which is why this line, "suffered under Pontius Pilate," leapt out at me today; to remind me that Jesus was killed under the Roman government, not by "the Jews." After all, he and his followers were Jewish; speaking of him as being handed over to "the Jews" makes it sound like a sinister, "other" group.

visited upon the third and fourth generation

Wednesday night, I called my parents to tell them I had essentially made my seminary decision. I had received my acceptance letter from my second choice school, and came to the realization that, practically, I could not afford my first choice. And, so, I'll be remaining in Louisville another three or four years.
I struggle with my parents. There are times when it seems like roles have been reversed; I see how my life could have been different if my parents had made choices that were a little more responsible. I could see this same pattern coming out in my conversations with my mother, as I was coming to this decision. Whenever I brought up the subject of staying her for school, she would encourage me "not to settle." It's as if, when I was trying to make the practical decision, she was withdrawing her support, even though I really didn't see a way to make my first choice school happen.
This is how I see iniquities being passed on through generations. I have become at times too independent and self-reliant, in part because my mother isn't always particularly dependable. Her tendencies are a reaction to the criticisms of her mother, who can be biting. My grandmother's character was shaped by the demands of her father. And so, patterns develop from generation to generation, as we react to the environment we are raised in. It's not a matter of vengeance, but of behavioral nature.

Born of the virgin Mary

I can't believe I'm saying this because it appears like a contradiction. It makes perfect sense that Jesus is born of a virgin. Even though this statement is a major hurdle for persons to get over, it does make sense from the point of view of faith. From faith it becomes the most logical. Jesus can't be God if he is created from the created.

All of the above is well and nice for theology class. What struck me however is that for a quick instant was how Jesus entry into the world is a bit like Genesis. Jesus entry into the world happens. It seems like an obscure time and obscure place. He comes in the dark. There is no fanfare and in fact there is quite the opposite. Like Genesis there is a fixed moment of birth which happened but there are very few to witness it. God it seems like to create in the dark. He does and things change.

Earth

I read everyone else's posts before the the daily readings this morning, and perhaps because I had Brian's "heaven" post in mind, "creator of... earth" leapt out at me. I spend too much time complaining life, but sometimes, especially early in the morning (sorry Steve!), I am overcome by the beauty of creation. Trees, birds, sky, all of those words sound rote and are lame when compared with the creations they weakly describe. And snow...having lived most of my life in warmer areas, I have always wondered why trees lose leaves, because they look SOOOO bleak and naked. But once I moved to Virginia and woke up after a snowfall, I knew it was because of the way snow looks on the tree branches. Doesn't last long, but to me, at least, it's breath-taking.

showing my true colors

I believe in the holy catholic church. I do, I can't get around it. In the term coined by my latest church hero, William Muhlenberg, I am an Evangelical Catholic. But having now read the primates statement on the actions at GC 03 and the ever so awesome AP spin on YAHOO! News, I am strugglin'. I knew the day Gene Robinson was consecrated I was screwed. I was headed towards ordination in a church that shot itself in the thigh and was slowly bleeding to death a the while being macho and saying it didn't hurt.

Well it hurts. On day 3 of the GC backlash, one of the members of my parish discernment committee resigned saying he wanted to see me ordained, but he couldn't recommend me for ordination in a church that had thrown out its understanding on the authority of scripture. My COM interview surrounded the issue and how I would deal with it in a parish setting (as all the clergy frantically wrote notes hoping I had a good idea to help them). I picked a seminary that I thought was a moderate institution, forgetting of course that moderate means something different in both higher education and Episcopal clergy terminology. All the while I've just sat back wondering when someone would fess up and say, "oh crap we shot ourselves."

I think now might be that time, and I'm nervous about what will happen next, but I believe in the holy catholic church, more specifically I believe in one holy catholic and apostolic Church, which when this is all said and done will still exist, but my bet is on there being a few more fractions make up that one.

I know I've now pissed people off and expect it. Please reply to me face-to-face, I'd love to talk more about this. I think it will help both "sides" deal with the hurt we have caused each other.

Love your neighbor

One of the many people I talk with on the phone every day left me in tears this morning. I'm used to getting nasty callers, and they normally don't bother me. I can usually brush them off as having their own anger issues to work through. However, this woman was perfectly calm as she told me that she didn't believe our letter was a standard review, that it was a crime how we treated the people we spoke with, and that she pitied me for having my job. All I asked her was how her son broke his finger.
The most difficult part of my job is the necessity to respond to people with love and kindness when they treat you with hostility. It's the act of loving your neighbor.
Afterwards, the woman called back and spoke with my supervisor about how I told her we looking for fraud (which I did not) and sundry other things. I wish at times that our customers had people listening to our conversations, to whom they are accountable for what they say. It'd really make loving your neighbor alot easier.

Decalogue

Reading the 10 Commandments reminded me of how much I love the Hebrew Scriptures/Old Testament; that's my favorite class, and as much as I stress about an A in Hebrew, when I let the grades go, I really, really love Hebrew as well. (Upgrading from pass/fail was a mistake.) Today I've been invited by my new field ed supervisor to a program at the College of Preachers about "Avoiding Messages of Hate in Texts of Love," re: preaching our Christian message without inadvertently sounding anti-Semitic. I hope hope hope that it doesn't get cancelled because of the snow!!!

I Am the Lord Your God

What is God's name? "I AM THAT AM". Name and being fused. There is no distinction between the two. Integrity. God's actions are the very being that He is. His words create and his creation speaks back His name. Rahner refers to God as the very ground of being. The followers of John ask of Jesus if he was the messiah. He responds only by having them relive what they know. Do the blind see? Do the lame walk? Do the deaf hear? The poor have the good news. Fusion of message and nature. He is the message and deliverer of the message in one.

You cant argue away or add on to "I AM". It is a very powerful statement. Six years my wife and I were visiting my parents in Chicago. My wife is Venezuelan and we had stopped into an art store in the town my parents were living. The owner of the store had a bit of a passion for art from Central and South America. He decided to share with us what he knew. It was a bit over the top. He went on and on about how the tribes of Central and South America had been oppressed by the Spanish and how there really was many nations that now made up the people. I think he was expecting my wife to appreciate how in tune he was because he asked her, "What peoples are you from?"

Her response was priceless. Her only answer was "I AM". The art guy had no idea what to do with this. She no longer existed in a category. She no longer was a something. She simply is.

The great thing is that it also got us out of a really annoying conversation. The art guys face simply went blank. He had been trying to figure her out and she blindsided him with that which was right in front of him. The gentleman had no idea what to say next. Neither did I but we have laughed about that moment more than once.

In"I AM" existence becomes both the message and the proof. So as you read this sentence hold the idea that your vision, intellect, computer screen, electricity, chair that you are sitting in, words on the screen, are testimony to the Lord. Kinda funky aint it?

off the beaten path

or beaten off the path, either way I'm tired. So today as I am reading our passages what comes to mind? A totally different passage. So my thoughts for today are on Prof. Emeritus Charlie Price's words on page 836 of the BCP 1979. "We thank you [God] also for those disappointments and failures that lead us to acknowledge our dependence on you alone." Thanking God for my failures is tough to do as I sit in the midst of them (the exegesis I tried to make perfect of my own abilities or the outline that I started to research the day after it was due CRRRRRRRAP), but really in hindsight's glorious 20/20ness I am thankful for a lot of the things which don't meet my expectations, because I know they always meet God's plan which is ultimately my salvation and the salvation of those with whom I am in community.

So that being said I really don't need another disappointment or failure, but should one come along (which they inevitably do) won't someone remind be to give thanks for the reminder to rely on God and God alone.

the quick and the dead

Every time I read the contemporary version of the Apostle's Creed, I feel a little pang of longing for those old words. I remember when I first heard the creed, and my mother explained that quick simply meant living. I think that's a good way to describe it. It reminds me of the Roadrunner, always a few steps ahead, blissfully unaware that he has narrowly escaped a horrible death once again. And it really is a narrow escape for each of us, isn't it? Without those few steps of faith, that ACME safe could come crashing down on our heads at the anytime, and leave us eternally crushed by the consequences of our sins. I'd rather be a roadrunner anyday.

"out of the land of Egypt"

As much as I would like to be a child of the promise land the reality is that I'm more of an Egyptian. I mean I wonder if they said things like, "You can bring the man out of Egypt, but you can't take the Egyptian out of the man." Even as slaves, the culture of Egypt would inform the Israelites (Israelites...That's funny. I thought they were Egyptians) way of being. As the story is read we read it through the eyes of God. We see his working out his providence amongst a people. From God's perspective we wonder why they build the golden calf, are desirous about the fruits and vegetables of their "home" land, and refuse to enter the "promise land". God calls them a stiffnecked people. As a reader it is easy to condemn them, why don't they simply straighten up and fly right? After 400 years of slavery I am beginning to wonder if they would need more time than 40 years to transition. You can't be God's people if you are secretly still Egypts. It is simply not possible to serve two masters.

I would imagine that as a "Egyptian" people they had morals and a way of living. I'm sure however that the commandments came as a shock. At their base the commandments seek not to inform what we do but to Whom we live.

I must admit I'm an Egyptian. I am stiffnecked. I am an American grown up in a time of incredible indulgence and power. "Slavery" while sounding harsh is a good word for it. At every turn it informs who I am. It takes great courage I find to do the other. It takes great courage to stay out in the desert. Thankfully I am not alone.

As a child of God I pray that when the breath of life falls short someone will be kind enough to say, "He was heir to the desert."

Almighty

I do believe in an almighty God, but that makes suffering hard to explain. In seminary we come up with various terms (which thankfully I have already forgotten) to explain different theories about how almighty God really is, but, bottom line is that people will ask us "Why did God let this happen?" and there isn't a good answer for it.

thine (yours) is the... glory, for ever and ever

So I've spent the last several days ignoring all other work to write the perfect exegesis (analysis) of 1 Cor 2:1-16. Do you know what I've accomplished in the process. Jack SQUAT!!!! Well a little more than that I guess. But in the attempt for perfection (on my terms) I wandered in and out of remembering to whose glory the paper was being written. I remember praying specifically before I sat down to write that I would write this paper to the glory of God. Then I remembered the C I got on the last one and anal retentive type A steve broke out into a cold sweat and worked not for God's glory but to make steve feel better about his abilities. D'oh!!!! Well now that I've come back to God for a little refreshment and a little time at his feet it strikes me that if I offer my best to God it doesn't matter what Dr. Yieh thinks.

So here it is, in writing, Almighty God, inspiration behind your holy scriptures, I offer this paper of analysis of those most blessed words up to you for your glory exclusively. All I ask is that I do no damage to those who read it, through the name of my lord and savior, Jesus Christ, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit world without end. Amen.

The resurrection of the body

You know, I don't think I have ever really considered what this means before. I am so excited to accept Jesus as Savior, and God as my creator, and the Holy Spirit as the power behind it all, that I forget what this little line in the creed means. It's not just Jesus' body that I believe is resurrected. We believe that this body, with fingers right now typing, will some day be resurrected. Whoa. I don't know if I am ready for that.
I know, its heresy, but I always figured that my body was a temporary vessel, and that there is more to me than this body, a more that would rise on the last day. That something would join with all other somethings as the Body of Christ united on that last day, at home finally at peace with God.
But to take this literally is a bit much for me. It suggests some sort of physical limit on God's reign. How many bodies can the Earth support, anyway? How many bodies are going to be hanging around on that last day? My mind wants instead to imagine a unity of people with God, where finally the terrifying aloneness of being human is stripped away as I and all others are united in God. The fear of the other would be blissfully shattered as all come to full knowledge of God's very identity.
Again, I just never thought about this line. I am sure these comments seem juvenile and underformed, and that would be a good thing as they are just that. But what will that day be? I want the perfect freedom of perfect unity. This old body is nice, but I want better than just this thing back on the last day.

"The life everlasting"

I believe in "the life everlasting". This one is big. I mean really big. So whopping big I miss it 99.999% of the time because to really experience it is the subversion of everything that I see. Sometimes it's better to just mumble over these things in ignorance. I mean I know I'm going to die. Yet here I'm saying no I'm not. Not the finality of death but death that leads to life eternal in a body resurrected. I believe that when I die that will not be the end. I believe that while death is a transition there is life on the otherside. Everlasting is forever. That's a long time. If it is everlasting does that mean it is eternal. If it is eternal than I am already experiencing the eternity. My ticker on the the eternity has already begun. That's an exciting prospect. Puts a whole new spin on what we value and what we emphasize. Should I really be focused on "retirement" planning? Should I really be prepared to "get mine" to be able to wander around golf courses with a sagging face? That vision is a little short sighted.

Sabbath

I'm having a hard time with Sabbath in seminary. I do a pretty good job of taking at least part of one day a week (Saturday) when I try to concentrate on my husband and resting as opposed to homework, but Sundays have really changed; going to church had really turned into searching for a field ed site, not worshipping, although worshipping was a factor of course. Now that I have a site, I'm not sure what Sundays will be like until Septemeber, when I'll start working at my field ed site, and if my field ed internship in the discernment process was any example, that will be fulfilling but also exhausting. And, much different that being in the pew on Sunday.

So, I will definitely need rest, but what about the part about keeping it holy? Most of the time I feel that hanging out with my husband is holy, since that's my most important relationship on earth, but I'm not sure that's what God was talking about. On the other hand, it doesn't seem so different than the Jewish Sabbath, when is worship but also just time spent quietly together. Sometimes it seems like holy time needs to be structured-church time, but I'm not sure that's the case. I think I'll need to figure this out by graduation. (But I have basically despaired of ever figuring anything out!)

You shall not covet...

I grew up in a very materialistic area. Neither of my parents went to college and both were born and raised blue collar folk living in a very white collar town (not by choice initially by the way). Any as a kid growing up it was hard for me not to covet. I wanted the best shoes when I was in first grade. I wanted the best Umbro's when I started playing soccer. I wanted a car when I turned 16. I coveted...

...A LOT...

Today I like to think I've grown some. I'm not so stuck in the material things. I find it much easier not to covet the stuff my neighbor has. But there are two new things that I see myself coveting from time to time. First, there are times when I covet those who have stability Not that I don't but really I don't. I'm in a constant state of transition. I graduated from college and moved to Grove City for two years. I got married. Then we moved to Alexandria where we'll spend 2 years and 10 months. Next we'll move again so I can serve a parish for the mandatory three years before we actually start settling down. Wow, on paper that looks like a lot of change, and I don't like change. Grrrr. Also, I covet seminarians who listened to the 12 credit suggestion. I'm losing my mind and I'm only taking an extra 1.5 credits.

So that's where I am today, coveting stuff as usual.

Thine Is the Glory

Last line of the Lord's Prayer...I hate to admit it, but I often want to go after the glory. One of my great frustrations, that perhaps is really a gift, about being a first-year seminarian is that we don't get to preach...we can't take homiletics until middler year, when we've had "a good grounding in Scripture;" and we aren't yet in a field ed site, so can't preach off-campus either.

I realized three years ago that preaching is my great passion. But I have to constantly, constantly, constantly be aware that this passion is a gift from God, to be used only for the glory of God, NOT to glorify myself; i.e., it's exhilarating to have eyes upon me when in a pulpit, but they aren't there to listen to me, they are there to hear about God. So reading that the kingdom, power and glory are God's today reminds me that it's good for me to have some patience, to learn something, before pursuing this great passion of preaching.

It also pertains to me achieving less than the GPA that I want. I really don't think God cares about my grades, except perhaps that it's probably good that I'm not as smart as I thought I was, because that's humbling. Aaarrrrgh.

A light unto my feet and Daily Bread

I usually do not really consider what I'm asking for. I've been sober now for some time. I remember in my early sobriety spending a lot of time in a fellowship. I remember coveting the other side of the fence. I was twenty five with a spirit that was no where close to my years. I remember thinking like a young child wondering when I would get "mine". When would I find a woman to marry? When would I have a house? Children? When would I have a career? I would grow restless thinking that my life somehow did not measure up. I would complain that my life revolved around meetings and solitude.

What makes this comical is that I now have all those things. I have a beautiful wife, three children, a career and I can find myself at times saying, "It was not that bad when I was simply going to meetings and alone." Not that I would ever give up the gifts that I have been given but there are moments. Moments when the rush of life seems to much and I start to complain or wish for something different. I've grown up a little but I can quickly retreat!

What struck me today was that asking for daily bread is greater than the food we need to survive. It's greater than the monies that bring us through day to day. Daily bread is the sustenance for living. It is the make up of our lives and the company that we keep. Asking for daily bread is not demanding God grant us some mystical transformation but that we may be transformed to see His hand in the things that we have. It's not about five days down the line but what we receive today, right now. And in that I can begin to understand God being a lamp unto me feet. I'm not to know the hour or the day of His coming? I'm not know the twists and turns. I'm to follow that which I can see right before me. And if I follow I may be like Daniel making his way through lions.

For if I knew how my life would unfold in these last nine years I would have headed for the hills. My God has more trust in me than I do. For that I'm grateful.

Broken chains

I'd never noticed before that the introduction to the Ten Commandments refers to the Lord as the one who brought us out of the house of bondage. I guess that term has taken new meaning for me recently, as I've entered the world of the wage-slaves, doing work I really don't care about in order to bring in a paycheck. At our Ash Wednesday service, we talked about the barriers that keep us from God, and metaphorically burned them on the pieces of paper they were written on to provide our ashes. For me, though, the images of chains can be much more effective. I find many times that I can see quite clearly what my personal struggles and what is keeping me from God; it's not that God is hidden behind a veil or a wall, but instead that I feel bound at times to the things that keep me from completely abandoning myself to God's calling through ideas of what is practical, responsible, and reasonable. In fact, my Committee on Preparation for Ministry encourages me in this tendency. I don't think I've ever heard these very dry adjectives attributed to saints like Dorothy Day, Fernando Cardenal, or the other ministers I admire. How wonderful it is for these chains to be broken, to be truly delivered from the house of bondage!

Creator

The word that leapt out at me today was "creator." It reminded me of a Sunday School class when I was about 7. We had a substitute teacher, and instead of telling us a bible story or making us memorize something, he told us to draw pictures of our fingers. We thought he was a crackpot. But, then he took my breath away because he told us that we were to carefully look at our fingers, noting that there were fine hairs on our bottom knuckle, and to know that God had placed all of those hairs there. I stared at that knuckle, never having noticed that hair before, and my image of God was enlarged; suddenly I recognized God as an artist. I spent the rest of the class staring at my finger and trying to reproduce it, and of course not coming close to recreating God's artistry.

A check in

For those who are following along and for those who are writing it has been 10 days since Ash Wednesday. We are a quarter of our way through the journey. While this is interesting it hardly is a fair comparison to the very real journeys we are seeking to remember. The Israelites did not have the luxury of saying, "Hey guys only thirty more years in the desert. Then we'll be perfected. Ye haw!" Nor do we have any information that Jesus went through his earthly life with a calendar and a marker counting the days. The emphasis on the days betrays the purpose which is we set off into the wilderness to be made more complete. We set off into the wilderness to be perfected.

There has been a change in me. It struck the fourth or fifth morning when I work up saying the Creed. Made me wonder, was it I who say the prayers or the spirit saying them in me. Who really is doing the work here? I mean, 99% of the time I'm like the flea on the back of an elephant who has just come over a bridge. As the analogy goes the flea gets all excited and proclaims, "Boy did WE shake that Bridge!" I'm like the flea. I take a lot more credit in my spiritual life than I deserve.

The shift is this continual reminder of the first command. "You shall love the Lord your God" "Our Father" "I believe in God Almighty, creator of heaven and earth" "I am the Lord your God". What has made is more of an awakening is my unique perspective. Due to how this has been created everytime a post posts, an email is sent to my in box. So through out the day these messages just come. Each one a reflection and a reminder that my journey here is not alone.

Another change has been that it has been the opportunity to get to know my classmates in a new light. I was hoping that more of the parishioners of St. Benedict's would get involved and they still might but that is not up to me. Even so there are about five to seven of us who have taken this practice up. I am always amazed at the honesty and insight. Not that didn't know about their depth before. But it is one thing to know something. It is quite another to experience it. I am honored by their company.

For me it is working. I'm still a flea but, I enjoy shaking bridges.

Sojourner in your gates

For the past couple of days communion of the saints has grabbed me. Nothing with any ferocity but it's building slowly. Yet what struck me more today was sojourner in your gates. I simply like the line. There is a part of me that is geeky enough to admit that I would like to use that language in our day to day living. (I was going to write "modern world" but then had to debate if I should call it "post modern world" to be congruent with my education. Is it just me or do we get a little uptight with definitions? Instead of being a cynic we're now "postmodern deconstructionists". Any society that seeks to move from less syllables to more is bound to be in trouble. Pretty soon we might start defining "love" as "coexistent forward attraction syndrome")

"So what do you do Scott?"
"I sojourn"
"That's interesting , does that mean that that your the type of guy..."
"That likes to roam around? Yes"

I think part of the reason this struck me today is that I will have "sojourners" at my house this weekend. There will be a couple from Alabama who will simply take up residence with us. Do we know that much about them? No. And yet they are coming and we've been running around to clean up the house for them.

Strangers are always in our midst. The commandment context is about making sure to provide a place of rest not only for ones family but even for those strangers in our midst.

In the world I have grown up in there is not a whole lot of regard about making a place of rest for strangers. I'm sure it similar in the past. There is risk in letting in the stranger. They may harm us. They may rob us. They may impose on us. They may threaten our job and job security. They may not speak our language. They do different things. The risk of letting the sojourner among us is that we'll be changed. Our God calls us to recognize the other. As He makes room for us we are to make room for the other.

They come. We'll be changed. I just hope they don't make a mess of the bathroom.

Coveting

Hmmm, this housing thing has already come up once for me on this blog, but: the part that leapt out today was coveting my neighbor's house. I miss being able to just let the dog out in the morning, instead of getting up and going out to walk her because we live in a yard-less apartment. I miss having parties with lots of people, including kids. Here we are sooooo small; the most I've had over is five (um, including the two of us), and the kitchen was quite a disaster by the end because there's no space.

I especially miss bathrooms that aren't pink.

Perhaps it's not a great idea to advertise to the world that I am BREAKING a commandment by coveting...my husband just came in and asked what I was doing and told me about some people who lost their jobs after blogging...priests who break commandments probably aren't in high demand. (Oh well, I'm still being formed; not a priest yet!)

Sleep

What really struck me today as I read was nothing from the daily reading, but from reading y'all's posts. Are you guys and gals aware of how early you are up and able to write coherent sentances? That is truly amazing. God has blessed you with a gift I can only hope He refuses to ever give me. If it isn't 10AM I'd prefer not to be up. I'm not sure if this is what this lenten exercise is for, but I felt compelled to share that. Good night. (that is to say y'all better be asleep already if you're going to be up to write at 3:30 or whatever)

Yup, just checking in

I've read today. That's a much as I can really do. The practice at times is only important to keep one moving forward. I think of Zero days as Matt wrote about. No forward motion is necessary at times to go forward again. I think of Sabbath and long for real rest (then I probably would not know what to do with myself and go load my plate up again.) I think of the times when I've been reminded in AA of it's central purpose. There have been moments when all types of things seemingly went bad and the surface of life was astray. Upon telling this to my sponsor it has been usually followed by, "Did you drink?", "no", "then it worked", "oh"

Life is rarely affixed to my expectations but is always attached to my next step. So I read today and we'll let God worry about the rest.

Hallowed be thy Name

This phrase struck me today, whereas I typically gloss over it. What does it MEAN to hallow God's name?

I often don't feel that I do that in seminary. Chapel often seems sterile to me. Old Testament is my very favorite class, but we do throw around "Yahweh" quite a bit, studying that name of God, not hallowing it.

Perhaps that's one reason why I'm still in Hebrew, even though it's crazy hard at this point and takes too much time for an elective...when we see the Lord's name in Hebrew, we don't pronounce it; if reading aloud, we say "Adonai" instead of the name ("Adonai" means "Lord"). Somehow, slogging along through those crazy symbols (i.e. the Hebrew letters), I feel that somehow I am closer to God, revering God in an ancient language.

(But, I don't have this feeling when parsing verbs. Then I am much more likely to break that name-in-vain commandment.)

The Holy Spirit's Raw Deal

If Jesus was conceived by the Holy Sprit why does (s)he get only cursory mention in the Apostle's Creed? I don't really know the level of debate that went on as our forebearers were wrangling with the trinitarian formula, but seriously is the HS (i.e. the third part of the Trinity) only as important as the other stuff in the final litany of things in which we believe? I know this can't be true because our Orthodox brothers and sisters are still mad because the Nicene Creed has the HS coming from the Father and the Son, but seriously if I'm going to be effective as a priest, husband, student, or friend I must do more that believe in the Holy Spirit. I trust in the HS to do my groaning for me (you often hear it while I'm complaining about seminary). I trust that the HS is leading and guiding me on my walk with God through Christ. I trust (most of the time) that God speaks his will through the soft voice of the HS.

In the name of God; Father, Son, and Holy Sprit, Amen!

give us our daily bread

Give us our daily bread. I have noticed lately that one thing that keeps me going is looking forward to my next meal. The work is so continuous and mind numbing, that the hunger in my stomach is the only real feeling I experience each day. I just read that sentence and realize how drastic it is, and I don't think I am quite as over the top as it sounds, but it has some truth in it. The joys I experience in conversation in between classes are mostly lost, as most of the time I am thinking of some piece of work I could be finishing. The one thing that I have that pulls my mind out is the need to stop and eat. And a wonderful thing happens when I sit to eat. I must stop, take my time, even work a little to get things just the way I want. The simple pleasure of enjoying a meal forces my mind out of the books and papers and allows it to rest on somthing wonderful and simple. Daily bread is more than sustinence; it is a connection to our true selves.
My other moment in reading today is that the slow peace of reading these texts is getting lost as I read them on the screen. Unfortunately I am in the library so I cannot say them out loud, where their pace can calm and focus my mind. Instead I find the phrases flying by in that usual pace that I now read at. I still catch meaning mind you, but the peace of being actively engaged in speaking them in a congregation is very hard to capture.

Thy will be done

It is amazing how many times I've gotten caught up in the scope of God's will. Does he want me to x or y. Do I take this job or that? To I climb this hill or nap? I can get all spun around in the head trying to figure that all out. The reality is that I'm trying to out think God.

Yesterday the statement of Thy will be done left me looking at the 10 commandments and the incredible implication of the commandments.

You shall love the Lord your God.
You shall spend time in prayer, rest, worship not creating anything in order to allow God time to create in us.
Honor your father and mother. Recognize the incredible gift of their lives they have given to you. Realize it that they gave their very best as all parents do. Even if that was not that good we are to honor them and then return back to loving the Lord our God as best as we are able.
Do not kill because you do not have the right to decide for God the scope of anothers life. If you are angry enough to kill have you really accepted the first commandment and the implication that God has ways and means that we may not understand.
Do not commit adultery. God will provide a wife or husband. Be patient in waiting. Do not destroy the common life of another. Accept the partner that you have. Trust that through your wedding vow that God has brought you together for a purpose even if you can not see it.
Leave what is not your alone. Trust that God will bring those things, that daily bread to you.
Lying about someone in the attempt to protect oneself or bring greater gain to oneself is an indication that a person has forgotten to allow God to work it out. Is it we that deliver us or is it God? What will our choice be?
Spending time hoping for the life that someone else has will not be to our benefit. By focusing on anothers life we lose sight of the incredible gifts we have been given.


Each command seeks to turn me back to the first.

Other Gods

This used to seem like an easy-points commandment, until I got older and others gods were not just interpreted as not offering sacrifices to the Greek pantheon (about whom I loved to read as a kid) but also gods like money. Aaaarrrrgh. And that is the one that kills me...I can't express how hard it has been to transition from a beautiful big house on a river to an apartment that has peeling finish on the floors and Pepto-Bismol pink bathrooms (no, can't paint; it's the FIXTURES that are pink).

When I was young, I always told my parents that I was going to be rich when I grew up, and they always asked "How?" and I had never quite figured that part out, but I just KNEW I would be wealthy. (And I was talking finances, not rich-in-friends, rich-in-the-things-that-really-matter, etc.) I'm slowly figuring out, as I progress through seminary, that this is not going to happen, as I feel called to one fo the lowest paying professions for which an advanced degree is required. (Librarians are also at the bottom of the pile, which is another career I considered at one point.)

I wish I were more excited about not being rich.

Oh the Drama...

... with a capital D. Its 9:05 AM and I'm already getting the question, "do you know where you'll be doing field ed?" Are you kidding? No, I haven't run to check my voicemail, and I won't until my day is over thank you very much. But wow, what a day to have thy will be done running through your head huh? Cassie and I are probably the worst two decision makers on God's green earth. We could sit at home all day Saturday wondering what we might have for dinner and still be pondering it at 7:00. What do you want to do? I dunno, what are you hungry for? So today why did we think We'd be any more capable of making a decision on a field ed site than we are on dinner? "I dunno, what do you want to do?" But these bigger decisions help us to realize the better question, what does God want us to do? Now I know that God works through mistakes (see my freshman year of college), and I'm not fully convinced God gives a rip where I do field ed. All he asks is that we be faithful and open to his will in a life of prayer. So, since his will is not to bring forth the Eschaton (read end of the world) before field ed decisions must be made or exegesis papers (read pains-in-the-ass) are due, our prayer today continues to by thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.

Time of Trial

I used to prefer the "save us from the time of trial" translation of the Lord's Prayer to "lead us not into temptation," but over the past year or so I have had trouble praying "save us from the time of trial." I remember a sermon I heard in the midst of a particularly hard spot of the Ordination Exploration Process; the preacher referred to a line in Ecclesiasticus that went something like this: "My child, when you come before the Lord, prepare yourself for testing." That took my breath away for the rest of the service; I had been so sure that of all the difficulties I was having meant that I was not cut out to serve God as a priest, and yet here was a small section in Scripture asserting that testing was part of the journey.

Now, it seems arrogant and wimpy (to me) to ask God to "save us from the time of trial"; trials and tests are part of being Christian. (It would be nice if it could all be smooth sailing, though!) Whereas the way I read "Lead us not into tempation" is that we are asking God's help to overcome the temptations and tests, not to avoid them altogether.

Thy will be done

As I walked down the stairs this morning in the haze of waking up and the incredulity of the hour I found that the words of the apostle's creed were swimming around my head. This was quite by accident and completely unintentional. What surprised me with this was it I praying them or being prayed by them? Quite unintentionally I am finding that through this action of reading, reflecting and return a deepening happening that I can't quite put my finger on. Maybe this is the reason for the daily repetition of the SHEMA* by our forefathers? Maybe persons daily focused on God not because they were so connected but, as the means to connect. Maybe it is not the random thought but the practice of repetition that becomes so powerful. Strangely enough this gives me hope because if this is so, it's not about getting good overnight but, about plodding and trudging toward God.


* Hear, Israel, the Lord is our God, the Lord is One.
Blessed be the Name of His glorious kingdom for ever and ever
And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.
And these words that I command you today shall be in your heart.
And you shall teach them diligently to your children, and you shall speak of themwhen you sit at home, and when you walk along the way, and when you lie down and when you rise up.
And you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be for frontlets between your eyes.
And you shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

So when does God get bigger than my to do list

I complain. I complain a lot. In fact I waste a ton of time complaining, maybe that's why I'm STRUGGLING to accomplish anything this semester. Seems like all I can turn to is that graven image I made awhile back. I seem stuck on this issue where my to-do list is a god. I've heard it from rectors, discernment committees, and my psychiatric evaluation. So I know I worry too much about the stuff I have to do, so how do I not worry. If I don't worry, I forget. If I forget I fail. If I fail, well I go take over my father-in-law's company, but that's beside the point. For the past 3 years I've been working hard on listening to God (note not to-do list god). Yet everytime I turn around in this God-forsaken hellhole I'm back staring at my to-do list. Seems like somebody told me to only take 12 credits, but NOoooo, I had to take 13.5. 1.5 measly credits, seriously how hard can that be?

God, please forgive me of my trespasses into the world of my to-do list.

It's TH not M

The prayer says "Thy will be done" not "My will be done". How often I confuse the TH for M. Two little letters changes everything.

As we forgive those who trespass against us

I am really great at holding grudges, which is NOT good for someone pursuing the priesthood. This line always hits home when we pray it, and it was the one that leapt out at me today.

It also seems relevant because I just got back from a horribly contentious diocesan meeting, in which forgiveness seemed to be glaringly absent. And now of course I realize that it's much easier for me to point that out than to forgive the people at that meeting who publicly spoke in what sounded to me like nasty ugly ways. So I have my work cut out for me.

Conceived by the Holy Spirit

Must be a sweet deal to be conceived by the Holy Spirit. At this point I think I'd settle to be conversant with the Holy Spirit. Several pastors told Cassie and I as we were headed off to seminary that keeping your spiritual life strong would be the hardest part. Times of perpeutal transition, busyness, and forced institutional piety can have a negative impact on one's relationship with God. Makes me wonder what it must have been like for our Savior, conceived by the Holy Spirit, in perfect communion with God, to be nailed to the cross. All of a sudden the conversation has stopped. The communion which had be intimately enjoyed since before the beginning of time was broken. How painful must that have been. I know that when my prayer life gets dry it hurts. Feeling like the God who created me in His image is just beyond my reach at a particular time is not a fun feeling. What then, must it have been like for Jesus during those three days as he was unable to know God, but at the same time was preaching His gospel to the depths of hell. To be conceived by the Holy Spirit is not possible for us humans, but to be in communion with God through the Holy Spirit is, and it is our ultimate goal.

Daily Bread

I am writing on Sunday instead of Saturday as I was at a convention Friday through today without access to e-mail...

I am very tired, and was worried that nothing would resonate with me tonight. But, "give us this day our daily bread" did. The diocesan convention I attended was incredibly tough; there was a lot of contention. And yet, throughout the weekend, there was also daily bread, in the form of little uplifts. Even though I had to listen to a lot of ugly talk, I also was able to reconnect with friends from my pre-seminary life. I spent a lot of time feeling really angry and powerless, yet our bishop had suggested that we seminarians act as chaplains to the youth as well as others who might need someone to talk to, since we were talking about pretty intense things; and there were several opportunities for me to listen to someone else express dismay at what was going on, and helping someone else one on one, by listening and simple presence, made me feel better. And today my daily bread was getting to come home to my husband, and to find that he had not murdered my cat in my absence. So even in the midst of turmoil, God was providing me with some daily bread each day, enough to at least keep me going.

But now I am going to bed!

Sabbath, hmmmm

We just don't do well in making a sabbath. A real day off for personal and family devotions, where no work is done, where the only thought and work is toward resting, thanking God not just for rest but for all that we have done. I have trouble remembering the last day I had like that.
When I long distance hike (which hasn't been for a while) we had a term for days when you didn't hike. We called them zero days. On the milage chart/hike journal of the journey that day got a big goose egg and usually not much of a journal entry. Even there, where the 15 to 20 mile days seem like hard work where you could use a rest, a day off was a bad thing, an incidental occurance due to injury, resupply, or just plain laziness. Thinking about sabbath, makes me wonder if a hiker shouldn't plan in those zero days, days to thank God for all the hiking, and to rest.
And if it's good for hikers, it's good for everyone else, as I have discovered in life so far. But with seminary work breathing down my neck in what looks like a never ending stream of blood letting 2 to 4 page papers, how can I not just try to survive day by day the endless work of learning?
I have a feeling I am going to come back again and again to this point of the ten commandments and belabor it mercilessly, just like I mercilessly push myself through life without proper sabbath time. Hmmmm....

Benjamin seeking balloon

Benjamin has just come down the stairs. He's two and learning the language. I sit as he approaches and he points to something in the kitchen that I can not see. He communicates through sound but I don't get it. It has a singsong quality. As I've said to friends "He's talking about something important and we have not caught up yet." So I asked him a thing or two and I was not able to figure it out. He simply looked at me with his particular deadpan face he has. He looked at me as if to say, "Silly father it is so easy. It's right there in the kitchen."He proceeded to enter the kitchen and come back with a balloon. I had to be shown. I didn't have the language and I had to be shown.

I wonder if there isn't parallels here with the religious journey. I have been reading our tradition's big claims for four days now. It's just now that they are starting to sink in. Not that they did not effect me before but there is a deepening happening which I can not really explain. I can't describe it but I will encourage persons to begin.

Maybe that it is why we need to seek God. Like Benjamin, we know the object of our desire but we do not have words to describe it. As creatures maybe we are already aware of our hearts intent but blind to the way. Augustine wrote our restlessness until finding our rest in God. Anselm wrote of faith seeking understanding. So maybe it is our practice of seeking that clears the way. We continue to practice and seek not because we have it but to understand that pull that already has us. We practice to develop a language for that task we have already begun. As I move deeper into these statements I might come to see, regardless of where I began, the balloon of Benjamins desire.

I think Benjamin rightly shows this morning that not having the language is no excuse to not seek nor show others those things we have found.

Well, I'm here God

OK, so I have joined and now at 7:15 PM on a Friday, after a long day, and looking forward to a long night of Hebrew homework (No, I am not complaining, I like Hebrew...) I pause and read the daily drill. I also skimmed other people's entries, and I feel very much the same with you all. It does beat giving up potato chips (although because of family tradition I must give up alcohol for the entire lent). Rite I does seem shocking with the Hell reference. And yes, I think if our consumer culture finally takes over Easter, after we agreed to take over Christmas, we are in for some REALLY bad symbology/theology.
But about the readings for today. Well, I am struck by how the 10 commandments are written. There is no list with bullets and numbering. It is part of the narrative. Some of the commandments get mulitple lines of scripture, some get four words. (Some say we could use more lines to clarify "thou shall not kill", but perhaps brevity is clarity)
For all that we make it out to be, the ten commandments in literary form are just like all the other Israelite laws that are written. Since we are Christians, why do we not enshrine the two commandments that Jesus says are the greatest?
But enough rambling. Well, almost. Are we stuck with the old form of the Lord's Prayer? I know everyone says it sounds good, but trespassing is just not the crime it used to be. Sin works much better in my soul. Good night to you all.

Lead us not into temptation

There was nothing in particular that jumped out at me today so I had to read the readings again. I was with a small voice the above jumped out. The temptation that rolled around in my head was not the big kind like money or sex or power all taking a front seat to my relationship with God. It was smaller but I think more significant. I think the temptation of the "religious" life can be to become something other than I am. The temptation could be to surrender those things in my life that most truly represent who I am in order to become something I perceive to be "religious". Being here at seminary it's easy to get caught up in that. That too is a temptation. I want a faith that is ok with not always been sure. I want a faith that enriches folks around us. I want a faith that is full of laughter. I want a faith where people are not convinced but encouraged simply because it shows that you enjoy this new life.

It is not to say I'm against change or that the journey into God (whatever that means) does not require surrendering some ways of life for others. I believe it does. The man I was 10 years ago could not have been comfortable here now. Thus I think I have changed. The temptation then is to force the change. To live out front of the change in the hope that it will happen. To become another on my terms rather than God's.

I would like to think that Jesus hung out with the Disciples because in part they were rogue's. They were honest enough to admit that they did not know. And the Priests and Pious...We all kind of know how Jesus reacted to them. ...Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil. Amen

Transformation

This is Martha, writing in Elizabeth's stead. "We believe in one God, the Father, the Almighty, maker of heaven and earth, of all that is seen and unseen." I see Lent as an opportunity to invite God as "maker" into our lives in a particularly prayerful and focused way. Whatever we are, whatever gifts we have, whatever our frailities and shortcomings, God can "make" something constructive and redemptive of us and through us. God can not only transform us, but through us can effect transformation in others. In Lent, as we reflect on the transformative reality of God acting in human history and await the radical transformation of death into life given to us in the resurrection, we might acknowledge the incredible co- creative power that is resident in us -- power to create good or create evil -- and ask God to " make" us into people who embrace that power and "make" us strong enough to use it in God's name to do God's will in God's creation.

Is a syllabus a God?

Did you know that our God is a jealous God? Seems like I knew that at some point, but forgot it as I forced childhood memories out of my mind to be replaced with Greek tenses and Frames for viewing a church. I had one of those oh Sh*t moments (sorry to any youth types reading) on my way from chapel to the refectory to feed my caffeine addiction. Where will I find the time to appease all the god's on my to-do list? The god of Church History, The god of New Testament, and most annoyingly the god of Church Music (I mean seriously it is one credit). Anyway, I downloaded a desktop Post-It note program from 3M's website last week and promptly filled 20% of my computer screen with what's due for each class next week and my work plan for at least the next 3 days. You know what that's called? Creating a graven image. I bow down to this pale yellow god every hour or so as I look to it to discern its will for my next activity. Why? Because in this time of formation I have allowed syllabi to become gods. I have returned to my beloved to-do list for guidance. ERRRRRRRRRRRRR. You shall have not god's before me... for I the LORD your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children to the third and the fourth generation of those who hate me. Let's hope I work this out before Cass and I decide to have children.

How is this stuff even here?

I love the Exodus. The only connection to the readings is that the Ten Commandments are recorded after the liberation of the Jews from Eygpt. As a people of God they are now called to live it out. Now saying "I love the Exodus" is a geeky seminarian thing to say. I mean come on, where but a seminary do you hear such things. I don't know about you but I never hear those things in the world. "I'll have 6 cheeseburgers and three sodas and by the way, do you like Exodus?"

Since yesterday I've been mulling over the 400 years it took for the Israelites to be freed. Regardless of the time they spent in captivity, they recorded their escape from captivity as deliverance. They understood their liberation not in social terms but through theology. I am more and more impressed with their leaving Egypt. What kind of courage does it take to throw off the chains of your captors? Even if you get a mountain of miracles to show you that God is involved it still takes courage to leave your home in pursuit of something you are not sure will show up. Yet they did. What always strikes me about the biblical texts is that we're still reading them. While it easy to get caught up in the ongoing debates about what happened when and did this really happen, we're still examining them. I mean we're not being confronted with the story of the ancient alaskans, the people of Sri Lanka, or even the ancient Egyptians. If longevity of a peoples story were attached to empire somehow we should be deeply engaged in the religions of Egypt or Rome.

Yet we're not. Exodus is part of the religious history of a people who by empire standards should not even be remembered. That fact alone gives credence to the idea that maybe God has been involved all along.

Father

Today I was struck by "Father." I know some people object to the metaphor of God as a father, since some people have had damaging relationships with their fathers. I hope this language is never fully obliterated from our liturgy, however, because it is a wonderfully effective metaphor for me. My mother died when I was six, so my father was the one who raised me--by himself for two years, before he remarried; I have sweet memories of him from that time, curling my hair in the morning before school, and bringing out three outfits for me to chose from to wear that day (although my sister says he did that because I was so bad at matching colors; I do have one picture of myself at that age wearing an orange and red T-shirt with purple pants). For me the image of God as father is one of steadfast, unconditional love, and of a constant presence. And, of one who can be gentle even though he has great strength.

Clear delineations

I tend to take issue with institutionalized time of reflection, and today is no different. However as I woke up with the headache that comes from one too many hurricanes on Shrove Tuesday, and sat down to read I realized just how helpful a Lenten discipline can really be. I have long struggled with the balance of living as a Christian IN (note not OF) the world. I get nervous when people start to make a holy huddle of the chosen frozen. At the same time however, I tend to allow myself the rationalizations that the world so easily teaches. The Apostle's creed with its ever so speedy run through of the Passion reminds me of the speed of life. It also reminds me of the clear delineations Christ made in his ministry. The end result is summed up in the last three lines of the creed, "I believe in... the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body, and the life everlasting." Even when I fall into sin Christ pulls me back out and He does so in a variety of ways, not the least of which is through his holy Word and those ancient words which his life has inspired. So while I don't buy into forced reflection I am certainly appreciative of a group of brothers and sisters being brave enough to post their thoughts for us all to see. I already see God doing great things for me in spite of me.

Ash Wednesday

I guess what struck me this morning was "out of the house of Bondage" from the 10 commandments. Conflicting with the readings this morning came the inevitable worry of one who might throw a party. I worried if anyone would even participate in this thing. It's one thing to take on a lenten practice. It's quite another to it online.

What resonated with me from "out of the house of bondage" is that the implications of the ten commandments are a second step. The Jews being chosen had nothing to do with the way they were leading their lives. God reacts to the groan of their suffering. Like the Father of the Prodigal he seeks them out (now if one is truly honest one might begin to wonder why it took 400 years for God to lead them out) So being "chosen" biblically has nothing it seems to do with say being "chosen" in gym class. I don't know if any one can relate but I remember the code of acceptance in choosing up sides for Gym. If left sole to the kids discretion it could be vicious. The athletes were gobbled up first in the excitement while the ones who may not have come into their own were forced to wait. Being the last one "chosen" in gym could not have been a fun experience. In light of the fact that the Jews did not really know the God of their past it appears that they were chosen not because they were good but because He was good. He was making a people. Merit seems to have nothing to do with it.

There is a strong connection between the Exodus deliverance through Moses and Jesus' death and resurrection. The parallel that jumped out at me is that in each case God seeks out a people who have lost sight of Him. In each there is a sacrifice that only is understood in the effects that it produces. The sacrifice itself is barely understandable at the time. Yet in each case is the agent of liberation. As with the Jews, our liberation is a gift we do not merit.

Descended to the Dead

This morning (Ash Wednesday) I am struck by the difference in the language in the Apostles' Creed between Rite I and Rite II. (This is not the first time it has occured to me, FYI, it's just what jumped out at me this morning.) Rite II (which is posted on this site) has "he descended to the dead," whereas Rite I has "he descended into hell" (BCP p. 53). (Then there's the Nicene Creed, which doesn't have him descending anywhere.)

I think a lot of us have the tendency to gloss over death. During my Ash Wednesday meditations, I plan to mull over that. I hope the chapel will use the stronger form this morning...although it's a Eucharist, so I suppose we will get the Nicene.

Links or it is amazing what a little knowledge can do

I know how to link! (I feel like Neo from the movie The Matrix "I know Kung Fu")

In order to make it easier to read the Daily Readings (or The Lords Prayer, Apostles Creed, Ten Commandments) without having to scroll a read only blog was created which is linked, surprisingly enough, under Links. It may come to no surprise that it's called The Daily Readings Site. Simply click on it and you will be brought right to the readings. No comments may be left there so there is a link there that will bring you back here. It became apparent that it would be counter productive to daily scroll the listed Posts or the Previous Post List on Lenten Journey 2005. You can also click on the title of this Post to do the same thing. Cool huh?!?

Knowing how to link might not mean much to you but with the help of Lonnie Lacy of the Class of 2006 I now know enough code to create links. Many thanks to Lonnie and thus the Link! The hope is that the VTS class of 2007 website might soon be up so that we can link it.

Should something be linked here?
If you are a part of this practice and believe that your community is not represented and you would like us to link (ie Diocese, Church, important website/Blog others should know about) please go under profile and email scottpetersen. There can be no guarantee your request will be honored but, as long as it fits the spirit of our journey, there should not be a problem creating a link.